As recently as eight years ago, I was convinced that if Wes were to die, I would go home to live with my parents. Kate and Anna were quite young, and the thought of single parenting made me feel vulnerable enough that I wanted to run home to mama, even though “home” in this case meant a modest townhouse in a housing development for retired Methodist ministers.
My sentiment was met among my friends with incredulity (“I would never do that”) or wistfulness (“How nice that you have that kind of relationship with your parents”). But really, my impulse wasn’t rooted in some kind of extra special parent/child relationship. I mean, I love my parents and they love me. But we drive each other crazy, too. I think of us as pretty typical in that way. What is not as typical about my parents is that they have had decades of experience helping people in need. When you are in crisis, my parents are the kind of people you want in your corner.
I was reminded of this at my 75 year-old cousin’s funeral. From the moment she collapsed, to the ambulance, the emergency room, to the decisions about taking her off life support, to the mortuary to funeral arrangements, my father walked her very distraught and non-English speaking husband through every step. My cousin’s pastor was in Korea, so my father also took over the duties of officiating at the funeral, hiring a soloist, making the powerpoint slideshow, even bringing the folding screen and projector.
He did not do this in a super human way. In fact, it was very human. My cousin was not just a relative, but his good friend since college. He wanted to be a mourner, not the guy in charge, and he said as much. He cried a lot. But he was also a professional, in the best sense of that word. While bearing their own grief, both he and my mother shepherded others through theirs.
I don’t think all pastors are like this. But my dad is, and so is my current pastor. I’d never really made that connection until my cousin’s passing, but Pastor Dana is a lot like my dad. Okay, she’s actually totally different than my father. But in this one thing they are similar: they have an amazing shepherding instinct. In a crisis, Dana is a good person to have in your corner.
I can already hear Dana interjecting–it’s the Holy Spirit-led community, not just one person. We are each called to bear one another’s burdens. I agree! I agree! I’m just sayin’…being a good pastor is an enormous gift to people in their neediest hour. Some pastors are flashy, some make crowds swoon (Dana, if you thought this was you, sorry to burst your bubble). As for me, I’ll take the humble, prayerful pastor who incarnates the presence of Jesus through acts of love and service, and teaches others to do the same.
Bora's Notebook 